9/11 - The very worst of human nature.

I was in sixth grade.  And as I think back on it, I'm shaken and brought to tears.  The lives we lost.  All of those people, all those families, confronted with tragedy on that day.  In many ways I was sheltered from horrors of it.  Many scenes in this video are new to me and while I'm glad I didn't see them then, I think it's important that I see them now.  We are faced with challenges every day.  By remembering the very worst of human nature, we can know, in the core of our souls, that it truly matters when we strive to show the best of it.

Update:
I was driving back to school tonight and heard this on the radio.  Many of you will be familiar with this song, it played a lot back then.  This is an updated version, get the kleenex ready

Underestimated Power

Sometimes we forget how important it is to just be there for someone.  How much they might need it.  How much of a difference it could make.  We underestimate the power of an embrace, of having someone hold you.  You never know who might need one or how long it will stay with them.  
 

"Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it."   
                                                                            - Keri Russell, Waitress

Insights into Miscommunication

College is better than high school.  Period.  The only ones who may deny this either didn't go or enjoyed an extremely rare high school experience (or an exceptionally bad college one).  One of my recent assignments allowed me to reflect on just how different the nature of the two establishments are.  In high school, children - yes, i do mean children - are asked to spit back what was thrown at them or maybe tossed is a better description.  One of the major reasons they (excuse me, we) remain children is because we were not asked to take something, whether it be literature, science, or math, and see it for what it is.  We are told to see it as it is seen by our teacher and assess its contents and value only from their interpretation.  We learn to take an outline of a paper and fill in the blanks with a topic we are assigned - anyone who's experienced the 5 paragraph essay will know exactly what I'm talking about.  There are the rare, glorious high school teachers who rise above this standard  but in my experience they are few and far between.  I'm going far more into this then I intended; I merely meant to introduce my assignment, but I got a little carried away.  In my English Composition class, we were asked to give our responses to any article that we had been assigned in the previous week.  

The reason I wanted to share this was because the issue it addresses came up twice in my personal life this past week and I figured that meant something.  It is discussing an article written by Charles Krauthammer in which he addresses religion's views of science.  Take a look below if you're interested.  I actually had fun writing this for class.  Hopefully you'll enjoy reading it.   

The How vs. The Why

            Charles Krauthammer’s article “Let’s have No More Monkey Trials” is a very interesting insight into the possibilities of miscommunication.  His understanding of a quote and the motives of a man, which he provides generously in the article, is completely false.  The man whose words he is misinterpreting is Christoph Cardinal Schönborn of Vienna.  Krauthammer quotes him several times and in my estimation is just missing the point.  Granted, it is not always easy to understand someone by what they say, especially if you do not understand their intentions.  I think the big misunderstanding is rather then “fill the gaps of science with divinity” as Krauthammer is suggesting Cardinal Schönborn is trying to do, Cardinal Schönborn is trying to explain that God’s plan is through what we label as science. 

            Krauthammer is correct when he says that science and faith are different and must be approached in different ways.  Faith and religion is all about explaining the “Why” while science is all about explaining the “How.”  He believes that they are both trying to explain the same thing.  “There are gaps in science everywhere.  Are we to fill them all with divinity?  There were gaps in Newton’s universe.  They were ultimately filled by Einstein’s revisions.”  The church is not saying “Oh, we don’t know how this happened.  It must be God.”  They try to explain that his plan is far beyond what we can determine for ourselves.  But isn’t it amazing how far we’ve come?  Isn’t it wonderful how much of God and his nature we’ve been able to discover?  You see, with faith, you don’t need to know all of the “How.” That’s what science is for.  

As a side note - I wanted to give a shout out to all the teachers who give all they have to their students, and get so little in return.  You are appreciated, even if you don't know it.  I know that in my experience, a little piece of all of you will remain with someone forever.  

Beautiful Day

It was a beautiful day today.  Just beautiful.  I have one word for you. Rain...lots and lots of rain. Pouring ALL day.  It came along with the seriously special feeling of water spilling into your tennis shoes, right through those fuzzy socks you decided to wear.  Yep - beautiful.

The day did improve though, even if the weather did not.  Today, I had the rare blessing of serving someone who serves me and many others but is seldom appreciated.  And I doubt that she is ever made to feel like the very special person she is.  This woman is the one who does the custodial work on my floor.  Joy just shines out of her, and if she can hold on to joy at her job, I have something to learn from her.  Today was one of those days that I was so thankful that my job is centered on making others feel special.  It made my day that she left for the rest of hers smiling.  Being a Mary Kay Consultant has taught me so many things, and today it helped me learn about the joy that comes from simply trying to help someone see the light inside of themselves.  That is why it hurts me when people sometimes look at me like I'm just selling lipstick.  My job is to enrich women's lives and in doing so, mine's enriched too.  Isn't cool the way that works?

Never Fully Get to Miss

Holidays, inevitably, are filled with memories - everyone's memories.  So many stories are told this time of year.  Whether you're surrounded by family at the dinner table or running into old friends while Christmas shopping, everyone is remembering.  And usually they are remembering someone. 

It's odd - the people I miss this time of the year.  It's odd because they are the ones I miss, even though I will never fully understand what it's like to miss them.  I'll never know what it's like to miss that look they get when they see they've made you smile. Or that way their hugs leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy.  The way the room changes, ever so slightly, just because they bring their presence into it.  I've heard of all of these things so many times but I've never experienced them for myself.  I love them because they mean so much to those who I have loved my whole life and therefore, are a part of who I am.  The memories I hold of them consist only of old, worn out photographs and stories that have been told to me over so many holidays.  All those treasured stories that have made me laugh, cry, and love them all the more.  

One reason why I think these people hold that special place in my heart is because, at some point, those who mean the world to me will occupy that spot in someone else's.  It makes me so sad to think that maybe the man who will one day be my husband or those children who I dream of might never meet my mother or my father, my grandparents, my brother, and all those others who are so important to me.  How could I spend my life with someone who doesn't know them?  They are so a part of who I am, and if they never get to meet, well sure, they'll hear stories and hopefully love them the way I love those who exist in the worn out photographs, but they won't ever feel real to them.  That just makes me so sad, how much they would miss out on.

I guess I'll just have to hope that God puts the right guy in my path before it's too late for him to make memories of his own.  Sometimes I wish He'd give us a glimpse at that master plan of his, but then again, what's life without a few surprises.  And love seems to be the biggest surprise of all - knowing when it would come might keep my breath from being taken away, and I wouldn't want to miss that.

A Bit of Testimony

Before I begin with this entry, I'd like to say something about it.  This is hard for me.  I generally shy away from talking about my faith, especially when I don't really know the person I'm talking to.  Parts of my faith will sometimes creep into conversations I'm having but very rarely does it become the focus.  It's probably because I know what it's like to have someone preach to you, no, at you.  To be told how lost you are and if you just do ___, you'll find so much happiness.  I don't think I've ever wanted to slap someone as much as I did in that moment.  It was like they didn't even see me.  I felt like instead of me they were seeing a number or a tally mark they wanted to add to some list.  When I look back, I now see that their actions were rooted in good but took a wrong turn somewhere on the way.  I've also come to realize that my reaction, the hatred I had in my heart, was misguided and only keeping me further away from God. 
I want you to know: it is not at all my intention to push my beliefs on you or make you feel like you are wrong or lost.  My intention is simply to share.  To share something that I believe in and has become fundamental to who I am.  You don't have to read what I've written next, but I ask you to.  To just read it, and let me know if you have any questions, if there is anything I need to clarify or explain.  Like I said, I don't have much practice with this.

I have always, well at least for as long as I can remember, been the girl who could find a loop hole.  I love going through the ins and outs - finding the cracks in someone's logic to discover the answer I wanted with what they provided.  I was always asking questions.  You know those annoying 4 or 5 year old kids who go, "Why? Why? Why?" over and over again?  Yeah - that was me.  Well, I'm sure I was never annoying.  What I've now realized though is that for me, the root of all of this very non-annoying behavior was wanting to know the truth.  Truth is absolute.  There is no way around what is and isn't true.  To someone who knew you could always find a way to bend the rules or inspire doubt in another's position, this was very comforting.  Doubt didn't exsist when I knew the truth.  The only problem is that when dealing with matters of religion and belief so much of the truth is found in faith.  This concept is not exactly easy to explain to a 9 year old asking tough questions and expects answers that can't be debated.  It took me a very long time to understand that faith is not weak.  Faith is not for those who just haven't thought of a better answer to your question.  Faith is the leap you choose to take because you believe someone will catch you.

It wasn't until relatively recently that I was able to take that leap.  I realize now that probably my biggest blessing has been my family.  I was being prayed for before I was even born.  My mom was a very large part of why I never fully turned away from God.  Besides actually answering all my questions to the best of her ability, she was and is a powerfully good influence who was strong enough to keep our family in the church until I was able to witness the love of God for myself.  I just recently learned that my grandfather had a habit of saying the rosary in the morning.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to go places, meet people, and see things that have changed me.  Faith comes in stages, at least for me it did.  It's almost as if I was walking up to the ledge and leaning over before deciding to take that leap. Walking up to that ledge was me finally, completely accepting and believing in God's exsistance.  I leaned over as it became clear that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that He truly is my savior.  Leaping, the hard part, was choosing to live for Him, and I only began to really understand the meaning of that last year. 

Before, I questioned God's very existence.  Now I see God everywhere: in the beauty of the sky, in a stranger's smile, in the heart of the beautiful friends he's blessed me with.  And because of Him, I am less lost then I ever been and there is no more doubt. 

Love, Hate, and a Prediction

During my daily catch up on the latest Twilight related news, I came across an interesting article with even more interesting comments attached and I just couldn't help partaking in some of the conversations taking place. The article is over at Ew.com (Entertainment Weekly), and even though I don't agree with most of what they have to say on the subject, as an organization, they have been posting and providing more and more Twilight covers on their magazine and articles on their website. Many of their subscribers, as well as their followers online, have a lot of...venom toward this recent development. It's actually starting to get a bit ridiculous, but I'll go into all of that in a minute. This particular article however, I found very intriguing and thought it was definitely worth sharing. Since I've never posted an online article before, I'm a little unsure of what the format should be but here's my plan: post article and my response to said article, and then post the specific comments I have then responded to on Ew.com and maybe a few more (at this moment there are over 800 comments so I'm going to spare you all the love and hate going on over there).

'New Moon': Why it's girl-driven success is good for the future of movies
by Owen Gleiberman
Offhand, it would be hard to think of a pop phenomenon as rapturously beloved as the Twilight saga that is also as vociferously hated. My God, the hate! If swoony-gauzy teen-bloodsucker romanticism with a golden-eyed indie-rock James Dean as love object isn’t your cup of passion, then fine — so be it. But why the frothing torrents of resentment? I was seriously shocked, for instance, reading some of the comments on Lisa’s recent post, to see that this much stone-pelting hostility could be directed at an actress as lovely and expressive as Kristen Stewart. What is her crime? Having a personality moody and brainy and distinctive enough that it carries over, maybe a bit too much, from one role to the next? It makes me wonder what, deep down, is getting the haters so flea-bitten scratchy under the collar.

Frankly, I think it’s this: The ascendance of the Twilight saga represents an essential paradigm shift in youth-gender control of the pop marketplace. For the better part of two decades, teenage boys, and overgrown teenage boys, have essentially held sway over Hollywood, dictating, to a gargantuan degree, the varieties of movies that get made. Explosive truck-smashing action and grisly machete-wielding horror, inflated superhero fantasy and knockabout road-trip comedy: It has been, at heart, a boys’ pig-out, a playpen of testosterone at the megaplex. Sure, we have “chick flicks,” but that (demeaning) term implies that they’re an exception, a side course in the great popcorn smorgasboard.

No more. With New Moon, the Twilight series is now officially as sweeping a juggernaut on the big screen as it ever was between book covers. And that gives the core audience it represents — teenage girls — a new power and prevalence. Inevitably, such evolutions in clout are accompanied by a resentful counter-reaction. For if power is gained, then somewhere else (hello, young men!) it must be lost. Yet such is the populist magic of Hollywood that these movies can’t simply be written off as some overblown high-school vampire version of a Miley Cyrus concert. Or, more to the point, they can be (hello, haters!), but that completely misses what’s going on in them.

I went into New Moon having not read the book, and so I didn’t really experience the movie as an adaptation, or watch it as any sort of Twilight die-hard. Leaving aside a few leaping boy-to-wolf transformations (which could, at this point, have come out of any routine horror film), what I saw, in essence, was a moody romantic melodrama from the 1950s, a movie that told its story, more than anything else, with faces. For two hours, they loomed up there — Stewart, with her pale crystalline severity, her ability to communicate desire and distress at the same moment; Robert Pattinson, with his sweet-but-not-too-safe, hurtin’-eyed, chalky-skinned delinquent chivalry; and Taylor Lautner, with those naturally wolfy features, as the group’s Troy Donahue, a friendly, quick-grinned stud-muffin who’s just buff enough to divert the heroine without threatening to capsize her devotion to her true love.

The key to New Moon’s appeal, of course, is that a lack of consummation is built into the movie’s very premise, and so the sexiness, as it was in the ’50s, has to emerge almost entirely from the atmosphere, and from the interplay of those faces. And that, more than anything, is what makes this a picture dominated, in spirit, by a new kind of girl power. Mock me all you want (and from the haters, I expect nothing less), but the reason I believe that the big-screen success of the Twilight saga bodes well for the future of Hollywood movies is that the teenage girls who are lining up to see New Moon are asserting, in an almost innocent way, their allegiance to a much older form of pop moviemaking: the narcotic potency of mood, story, and romantic suggestion over the constant visual wham-pow! of action, effects, and packaged sensation. It’s not that New Moon has none of that stuff. It’s that the movie uses fantasy to liberate, rather than to steamroll, its emotions. That’s what makes it a new-style, feminine-driven brand of popcorn, one that’s more than welcome at a moment when the other kind — the boys’ kind — has grown more than a bit stale.

Even though I do not completely agree with all of the statements this article makes, I do hope that his ultimate prediction is correct. It was not until I had come across this article that I was fully aware of why New Moon seems to be so different from other movies filmed today. I've always believed that the characters and the plot were special and made the story stand out from others, but I was not aware of how the camera work and what is not said are so elemental to the film that they completely change the experience.

Faces, as he said, do truly tell this story. Could that not also be said of our everyday life experiences? It is how we live our lives, they say eyes are the windows to the soul for a reason. I would personally be thrilled if his description of an older form of moviemaking would become the rule rather than the exception: "the narcotic potency of mood, story, and romantic suggestion over the constant visual wham-pow! of action, effects, and packaged sensation. It’s not that New Moon has none of that stuff. It’s that the movie uses fantasy to liberate, rather than to steamroll, its emotions."

As we move to the comments, I want to first say that most of what is said doesn't have so much to do with this article but more of what people have decided to either attack or defend concerning the Twilight Saga in general.

Here are some (just some) of the comments found under the article at Ew.com.

1st String

1. - Mallory - Thu 11/26/09 11:50 AM

Bella is a terrible female lead, her life is so dependent on men it is laughable. She has no personality, no goals or ambition of her own, just an infatuation (not love) with a good looking guy. She should get a life and figure out what her interests are before she devotes her life at such a young age to one guy. Honestly what deep connection can any man have with her when there is nothing there. Guys would like her b/c she is young and attractive, after she peaks (around 21 for most women) physically, he will just go looking for the next young girl who finds him to be a “man of the world”

2 - Cat - Thu 11/26/09 3:31 PM

Can you please define love for me then? Hmm, what did Juliet have with Romeo? Are you calling that an infatuation because Twilight goes more into it than even that. Not everybody has a distinct personality, I happened to be compared to Bella ALOT, so people can in fact have a personality like that, obviously she has personality enough for people to say she’s a terrible female lead and hate her. And Edward probably has seen so many average girls he said he finds Bella interesting, Bella does in fact have a very distinct personality.

3 - same - Thu 11/26/09 4:27 PM

I get tired of hearing about Bella not being a strong feminine character. She knows what she wants and she goes after it. She knows her own heart and follows it despite people telling her she’s too young to know what she wants. I admire that type of courage and conviction, because I wimped out. I didn’t do what I most wanted to at 17-18 and have regretted it ever since. Just because what she wants is a family instead of an olympic gold medal or an internet start up doesn’t mean she’s weak.

4 - Annie - Thu 11/26/09 4:41 PM

I mean she’s weak because she is removed from the action around her. People, like the Cullens, make decisions for her, especially in regards for the Volturri (spelling?).
What solidified my dislike for her character was when I was reading New Moon and she just lost herself because Edward left. I know they are “meant to be”/ true love, but there are months of nothing. She cannot even find her way out of the woods- her own self-survival instinct is gone. And what helps her out of her stupor? Another man. I don’t consider her weak because she doesn’t want to be a doctor or whatever, but how she lets the men in her life shape how she lives her own.

5 - Claire - Fri 11/27/09 3:29 PM

This story is not adored by so many becasue it’s an epic infatuation. or even a story about lust. these characters express and display unconditional love, which is so rarely seen in this world that most people won’t even know what i’m referring to. here is a quote straight from eclipse (3rd book of the series), it’s right there in black and white, so i don’t know how you can argue with it but i’m sure someone will find a way – jake and bella are having a conversation on what it is that makes bella love edward so much
“Is that what this comes down to? Good looks?”
“Don’t be stupid, Jacob.”
“Is it money, then.”
“That’s nice, I’m flattered you think so much of me.”
“I’m serious! I’m trying to understand here, and I’m coming up blank.”
“I love him. Not because he’s beautiful or because he’s rich! I’d much rather he weren’t either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit — because he’d still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I’ve ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand.”
So there you have it, and I must say that I don’t think Edward is perfect, he has his flaws just like everyone else but because the stories are from Bella’s point of view of course it would seem, if you’re not paying attention, as if that’s what the author is trying to say. alright, tell me why i’m wrong.
oh, and i just want to say thank you to the author of this article, really enjoyed it – except for the part about teenage girls being the driving force, it surprises me that people still don’t understand that this story appeals to women of all ages, and men too, the ones who give it a chance.

6 - Cat - Fri 11/27/09 4:45 PM

Claire: Thank you, that pretty much sums my entire feelings in regards to this mess. People who just want to disagree, just are doing it for argument’s sake, the proof is right there!

7 - Lydia - Fri 11/27/09 5:28 PM

Um…you all know that this is a story right? Books and movies like these are used to escape reality. I think it is unfair to compare them to reality in anyway, there are vampires in it for petes sake. If you don’t like it, that’s one thing, but to put it down because the story isn’t believable is another.

8 - Claire - Fri 11/27/09 5:50 PM

Lydia: i so see where you’re coming from and i understand some people think that way but for me these books have taught me so much about life and love that i can’t just see it as an escape – i know people will probably mock that explanation because they don’t see what i have learned or how i could have learned it, but it happened for me nonetheless and those things have changed me and made me a better person. and someday a better wife and mother.
i know that most people’s reaction to this will probably be along the lines of “wow, you care way too much” and i’ll admit that, but i won’t regret it

9 - Claire - Fri 11/27/09 5:55 PM

Cat: you’re welcome, i thought i’d try going to the source. i just don’t understand why if people have so much hate for something to waste their time dwelling on it

10 - Lydia - Fri 11/27/09 6:06 PM

Claire: If these books have moved you to the extent that you say, then who am I to bring that down. If you feel as though you have learned certain aspects about youself and how to conduct your life in a positive way through Twilight, then keep standing up for it. Its great to have an entertainment outlet to feel connected, mine is music. But please keep in mind that becoming too passionate about a story that was written for pure enjoyment could cause you problems with reality later on.

11 - Claire - Fri 11/27/09 6:15 PM

Lydia: thanks for understanding. and i definitely will keep an eye out for any problems that may ensue, but just to clarify – i do always keep in mind that this is a story with fictional characters in a fictional world and all of those things i’ve learned are taking that into consideration and applying them to the very real one we all live in, thanks again

12 - Cat - Fri 11/27/09 6:31 PM

Again, Claire took words from my mouth on pretty much everything. And I also feel very tied to Twilight that way, it may seem crazy to some people, but it’s a heck of a lot better than what alot of people obsess over. Music and Twilight are two things that really effect me, that’s why alot of fans get so upset when people attack it for meaningless reasons, if you’re someone who says “well that’s fine if some people like it, I don’t” then why are you even posting a comment?

2nd String (much shorter, I promise)

1 - Ashley - Thu 11/26/09 11:27 PM

I’m particurlaly vehement on my hate because most fans are just intolerant. They can’t seem to accept that not everyone finds the stories as good or the relationship as deep as they do, and especially for girl haters they will try and tell you that your opinion is wrong and you should like it, I’d hate it a lot less if fans would actually go “So you don’t like it, ok.” instead of defending it.
The fact is, they defend it so hard and hit it so fast because they view themselves as Bella. That’s part of the reason she’s such a horrible character, she has no personality or real motives so you put yourselves in there. And your being told that “The hawtest, most extra specialist guys like you just because your you!” and no, they aren’t fated, this guy loves her because the author deems it so and she apparantly thinks that’s all thats necessary. Now Stephenie Meyer being an arrogant twit is another issue I have all together.

2 - mk - Fri 11/27/09 12:42 AM

how come you are allowed to rant about how much you hate twilight and fans aren’t allowed to defend if it is good? if you don’t like it you don’t need to hate it.

3 - Diana - Fri 11/27/09 9:42 AM

I really don’t see any comments on here telling people how much they should love Twilight. All I see are people who like it trying to get people like you to stop hating on them so much. If you see an Article regarding Twilight, why would even bother to read it if you hate it so much… just skip it and move on, what’s the big deal?

4 - Rachel - Fri 11/27/09 12:21 PM

Preach Diana!
I hate going to read a Twilight article that I may or may not enjoy due to the opinion of the author. But if the author and I don’t agree then I don’t go immediately to the comments and rant about how “dumb”n they are for not likely Twilight! I respect whoevers opinion and leave it at that. But when I go to a article that’s pro-Twilight or Twi-hards or even is neutral you see all these comments dissing the movies/books and the people who like them can find enjoyment in them. It just doesn’t seem fair!

5 - Claire - Fri 11/27/09 6:37 PM

Ashley: i want to apologise for all those fans of the series for making you feel like you were somehow less of a person for not thinking the same way they do. i know that the core of all my excitement and just…joy of sharing the series is the sheer amount that the books have affected me and i would guess the reason there is so many people will tell you you’re wrong is because they were affected too (i go into all of that in a earlier post) i do agree however with some of the others and say i hope you can find something better to do with your time than dwelling on hate – whatever that hate may be for. there are so many emotions that are more rewarding to rest in. wish you and everyone else here all the best – and less venom, whether they’re accusing or defending